i realised that the closest i've been with you the past 1 over month was actually when i dreamt of us.

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why is it that people who are really passionate about what they do NEVER have their way, WHY?

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hahaha, i find it cute that you still ask me if you should watch hunger games with your friends.

it's as though you feel guilty you are out having fun while i'm being tortured with work. and you're asking me if it's okay like asking for my permission.

bloop bloop, can't wait for you to return :)

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so many things are going on in my mind.

i want to be better
i want to be brilliant
i want to be awesome.

i miss you
i want you
i want you here with me.

always remember things happen for a reason and that we should always make the most out of every single situation.

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i don't dare to say this out, but i guess i'd have to say it.

i really miss you and i'm probably going to choke up again the first time we skype, perhaps on Saturday.

i just can't wait for you to get back and for me to go over during your 21st. please let everything work out

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im actually more bothered about the departure than the months apart.

i have no idea why but somehow i know i will be able to deal with the distance for a few weeks at least, judging by how i've been these two weeks into school. how i am not that inclined to whatsapp or message him immediately and how we seem to be fine being busy with our own schedule.

but every single time i think about the very day that he will eventually be gone for a good 5 months, my heart sinks.

stiffen up, please.

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知足常樂，人雖然遠了些，但活著健健康康就好。溝通方面雖然難了些，但至少能夠表達自己的感觸。比起許多不幸的人，自己的處境的卻是比他們好的一千，一萬倍。所以不要只是常跟比你出境好的人比較，想想看還有多少人得更苦的過著。

自己的煎熬，跟他們比起來簡直是笑話

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almost 3am on new year's day. so hm 2012 has finally arrived.

been feeling pretty bummed because it's the first year i'm actually home in a couple of years not out celebrating the countdown. it's not like it's super fun but i guess being outside admist some celebratory atmosphere will make me feel happy. i'm not usually like that but i realised lately that not celebrating such festive periods will make me feel melancholic lol.

i need to learn to be alone hmm. and how to entertain myself. because the coming days would require me to do so. i'm pretty bad at this..

so z went to have his traditional midnight soccer with the guys on new year's day at turf city and i was lying in bed watching three kingdoms with my parents. couldnt stand it any longer so i painted my nails. somehow i can't stand it being bare, but i'm probably gonna not gonna pay much attention to it since archicon will probably destroy them.

really praying that i'm gna get the tutor of my choice, and that i'll receive some good news, or rather just receive a particular positive response and that will probably set my 2012 straight

dear god, please. i've been trying very hard at this.. don't forsake my efforts.

shall try to get some rest, lest i feel unwell again. slept the afternoon away after returning home from lunch; really hope i'm not allergic to cheese, cos that's just sad... i love cheese :(

headaches begone!

gotta do spring cleaning tmr

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